I can't just hear something and let it be. I hear it, accept it... then I dwell on it and figure out how it can be worse than what was told me.
Here, let me explain. Alfred went out tonight. I was fine with that. About 11:30-ish I get a collect call. ((Oh how worried that made me.)) I accepted the charges and it was Alfred. No, he wasn't in jail. ((That was my first thought)) He was calling from a pay phone telling me that his cell phone is fucked up again. He sounded reasonably pissed about the situation and told me he has tried to get in touch with nextel to have it fixed but has to wait till tomorrow. ((Which isn't so great, seeing as he works all day... but whatever.)) We hung up and I tried to call his phone like he told me to. ((The nextel guy had told him he wasn't able to make or recieve calls, but he wanted me to try just to be sure.)) When I called it went straight to voicemail so... yeah.
I should be okay... I mean it sucks that his phone is fucked... but what can ya do? He promised to call me tomorrow no matter what, so all should be fine, yes?
Nope. Not in my world. In my world, my mind keeps turning the situation over and over and twists into this madness that is just... stupid.
See. I think my problem is that I can't trust anyone. My mind is telling me that this is all just an elaborate hoax and Alfred just has his phone turned off because he wants to stay the night with some Maryland whore.
Stupid, right? I know its lame and I shouldn't think this shit... but its like my mind jus wont let me let anything be. It sucks.
Gah.
I know Alfred is at home sleeping. I know he is. And he isnt with any whore or anything...
The thing that just gets to me is this though...
if he were... I'd be none the wiser.