I want to make something out of my life, ya know? I need to feel like I have some sort of purpose.
Dammit. I need friends and shit.
Lately I have been feeling quite pissy with Alfred. ((Hell, what else is new?)) It just irks the hell out of me that he doesn't ever call me till late and he never answers his phone. The past 2 nights I have been calling him and he doesnt answer. He says he has his phone on vibrate and doesnt realize I've called... I told him he needs to turn the fucking ringer back on. Dammit. It just seems so flipping pointless for him to have a cell if he isn't gonna answer it.
And, I wonder if it ever happens that he doesn't realize when his mother calls him or if he just happens to answer it every time she calls. I dunno. Maybe his phone vibrates harder or something when she calls... cause, dammit, he never doesn't answer her calls.
::sigh::
I'm just an asshole, I know. But I can't help this pathetic feeling of, I dunno, jealousy, when ever he is talking to his mom. Maybe its just because I cant stand that woman... but whatever. Gah.
Yesterday my friend Tiff showed up over here. It was nice to just hang out with someone and talk and shit. The only downer of the evening was the fact that spending time with her made me dwell on the fact that she is the only person out here that I can hang out with like that. I miss having this massive group of friends. I miss hanging out and walking around and going places with my buddies. Everything was so different out in california and I wish I could have that back.
I hate being so alone all the time. It's no fun. I mean, shit, in the least all I really want is Alfred to be home more. Ya know he probably wont even be home for Easter, either. I fucking miss him and I need him here to maintain my sanity. Why does his punk ass have to work for such a dumb ass company that keeps him away all the fucking time? Huh?
I loathe my life right now. No, no, really. I do.
Gah.