Just thought you all would like to know that.
So. We are celebrating Kylee's birthday today. My family is all coming over and eating spaghetti and bringing Kylee presents and all that wonderful birthday stuff. ((I don't think my words are coming off as sarcastic as I want them to.)) I loathe my family getting together like this. It's annoying and I don't want to do it. So nyah.
I am curious as to what new ailment my sister will be suffering from. She's bound to move onto the more deadly of diseases soon. Last I heard she claims to have pneumonia... before that it was bronchitis... so I guess we will just wait and see, huh?
I am feeling like I'm not standing on firm ground with the Alfred / relationship stuff. It all feels crazy. I think I need him to much. I think I love him too much. And I think I call him and cling to him too much. And the end result of all this? I think it's pushing him away and making him sick of me. I want to just step back and pretend to not care as much as I do in hopes that he will realize that all it is is me missing him like hell. But everything feels so twisted and crazy.
I reminded him of Valentine's Day being tomorrow and he asked me why I keep bringing it up. I told him because it depresses me and I don't get to be with him. He told me that we'll talk on the phone ((like always)) and why can't I be happy with what I have. I told him that it was because all I had was him and at that I only had him for 20 minutes on the phone every day. He told me I was going to be depressed and miserable forever.
I felt like I had to agree... but I'm not so sure right now what I really think. I need to go out and do something with myself though. Go out and make some friends... go somewhere or something.
I need something don't I?