All in all I doubt I know myself any better this morning than I did yesterday at this time. Oh well. I guess it's an on-going process, no?
Anyway. I was thinking back to the last time I was hanging out with Tiff, Brian, and Tiff's sister Ashley. Ashley, who weighs probably 100 pounds, was complaining about being fat and feeling gross. I told her, well damn, dude. If you consider yourself fat, then you must consider me hellaciously obese. She then told me that it wasn't really about your weight it was about how comfortable you felt in your own body... and she didn't feel comfortable in hers, but that it was obvious that I was comfortable and secure in my own.
What the fuck?
Comfortable and secure in my body? She must've been high. No seriously. I am one of the most self conscious people I know... but I guess some other people see me as being comfortable and confident. Go figure.
Anyhow.
Its strange.
Whatever.
So yeah, Alfred went out to the bars last night. He called me when he got home and he was drunk off his ass... but it was okay. I did get a little uncomfortable when he started telling me about all the fine pieces of ass that were hanging around at the bar... and when he started telling me how his dick ached while he watched a few of them dance. I also felt a little weird when he told me he was freaking ((dancing)) with this older lady and shit. The dancing part I could understand and I just forced the possessive / jealous thoughts out of my head... but hearing him talk about how badly he had wanted to take some of those others girls home... Gah.
I mean I'm glad he loves me enough that he didn't. That is a good thing. I know. But fuck, dude. It is my humble opinion that you don't share those thoughts with your girlfriend. You talk about the sexxxy bitches in the bar with your male friends... not your girlfriend. Does anyone hear me out on this?
I pointed out that thought to Alfred and he told me that he tells me these things because he wants everything to be straight forward and honest between us. He did nothing wrong but he wants me to know what happened... and like, yes, I understand what he's saying and all... and I am glad that he tells me everything... but it still gets in there and feels like someone pulling my finger nails off one by one when he tells me stuff like that.
Ah well. He's at work today...probably hung over. He only slept for like 2 and a half last night. Aw well. He said he got his foreman more drunk than he was... So I guess everything is okay. I just had better stop myself from thinking about 2 hung over guys working together on the work site or I'll worry about him all day.
::sigh::
I need to go take a shower.. then I'm going to play me some Xbox. Go me. I live the exciting life. Gah.