Moving on...
I found out my best friend, Vickie, whom I had not talked to in forever, is going to have a baby. She's due in June and would like for me to come out there... I think. I mentioned it to Alfred and he understands and all, but June is when he needs to be working, ya know? So, either me and him will go sometime this winter after he gets laid off, or I'll go all by lonesome in June... which could be good or bad depnding on who you ask.
I'd like it better if Alfred went with me though... he needs to go out to California and see his family. He hasn't seen his dad in years... hell, he didnt even see his dad before we moved out of california in 2002. His grandpa is also doing pretty bad health-wise and I feel like Alfred needs to go see him too.
I know a trip to California is going to cost a lot... but I have to be there for Vickie and I need to see Danielle and Alfred has even more important reasons than I do to go.
It sucks. Before I moved back to Wisconsin with Alfred... when I lived here before that... I would go to California, like, every 6 months... sometimes more. I've been back here since 12/02 and I haven't gone back at all.
Anyhow.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about babies lately. It seems like everyone is going out and either having babies or getting pregnant. I want to have a baby with Alfred. Not necessarily right now in my life...but someday ya know? And according to his ideas and his the way he is thinking about things he doesn't want one later. He doesn't want to be all old when his kids are in highschool and stuff... which I understand... but he says we cant have one any time soon because hes working at Gabes and is never home. He wants to be a part of his kids lives if he has them...but with how everything is he's content thinking he won't have them at all.
It sucks.
Gah.
I feel like a broken record. This diary is just entries repeated over and over again. I know I all ready wrote all this down... but fuck. It bugs me to no end.
Aw well.