They are all adding to this massive lump of loneliness that is residing in my chest.
I feel like crap.
I talked to Alfred yesterday on the phone for a short while and it made me feel more sad. I miss him.
I want to go see him in Maryland but he doesn't think that it's a good idea. He also knows that I have the emergency telecommunicator interview next week Thursday and he's wanting me to go to it and get the job...
I don't know how I feel about it all really.
Me and my mom fought something harsh earlier. She cried, I yelled, and shit is just not good.
I told her a few days ago that I was no longer babysitting for Kylee. That everything was just bullshit. Actually, I told her this last Friday and again yesterday. I came upstairs this morning and she tells me that her friend Debbie will bring Kylee home from school. I just looked at her and said, "Uh, You think I'm babysitting?" And she said, "Well, you're here and Stacey says she's busy."
Needless to tell you all I did finagled into babysitting today, but I told her that I am never ever doing it again. The whole thing just pisses me off but it's not like I think she needs to call into work over it all. But it does make me mad.
Alfred will be upset with me when I tell him I am babysitting today, but I think I can get him to understand that my mom needs to work...
But he's going to say that I'm going back on my words and getting walked on and not allowing consequences for people actions to take place.
I dunno. I know he's right, but it's hard to watch my mom cry.
Gah.