"Just listen to what I say. It's never anything more than what I say."
That's what Alfred is always telling me. Always. It's like his slogan or something. He hates when I read things into what he says and when I try to analyze his words. He says everything that he says is straight forward and I just need to take his words at face value.
So, if he were to say, "Whenever the cell drops our call, don't call me back because obviously I have no reception, I'll call you back as soon as I can." That would mean if our call is cut off then as soon as his phone is in an area where he can get reception and he is able to put a call through he'll call me back, right?
Nope. Wrong. Who would of thought that that is what that means? What I have come to find out it means is this: As soon as I deem it convenient to call you back, I will. Be it after I go to dinner... or say, nearly 2 hours later... or when I get home... That's when I'll be able to call you back. When it's more convenient.
So, yeah, I'm the asshole for assuming that he meant he'd call me back as soon as he could. Silly me. I should have just listened to what he said, huh?
I dunno. Maybe I am reading too much into everything. But it just makes me feel like it doesn't even matter to him that our phone conversation was cut off. Like it's perfectly fine and, eh, he'll call me back whenever.
Maybe I'm just being an asshole because I feel like shit. I woke up this morning with a headache and have been living in the bathroom all day. If I'm not puking then I'm sitting on the crapper and I can't eat anything at all... even drinking water is making me puke.
So maybe that's why I'm so affected by this whole phone thing. I want Alfred to be thinking about me and caring about me and wishing he were here with me... and this whole thing with the cell phone... it makes me feel like none of those things are true.
Hell I probably wouldn't even know what he was doing today if I hadn't called him at noon. He hadn't called to tell me he was rained out of work. Go fucking figure. It just all makes me feel like crap.
Excuse me while I go throw up some more.
Gah.