My nose is runny, my throat is sore, and my eyes hurt... as does my head. Man o' man.
I am missing Alfred. I can just picture him sitting in Maloo's, talking to meghann or nikkie... or some other ho-bag.
I hate picturing this in my head.
I fucking hate it.
I am so damned dependant upon him though, that I can't even imagine leaving him. He knows I wouldn't leave him if he cheated...so what is there to stop him from doing so? He knows me too well... he can see through my false threats... I tell him i'd leave him if he cheated...and he knows I'm lying. It sucks.
But ya know what? If I were tp cheat on him... he'd probably kill me. I'm not talking figuratively... I mean seriously. I'd probably be dead the second he found out. Yeah.
I hate that.
Ya know what really scares me about that though? Not the fact that he'd kill me... no, not that... The fact that I know he could kill me and I'm not afraid of that possibility is what scares me.
Meh.
I've got a screw loose or something, no?
Go read my new poems at Tinkybella. They're lonely. Dammit.