Again tonight we got into it... all because I "accused" him of not trying to understand me. So we fought... I tried to explain... and he told me that we've been through all this before and that he wanted to just go to bed an hour ago...then he refused to tell me goodnight or that he loved me.
Yes, you heard me right folks. He stayed on the phone ((he didn't hang up on me)) but he refused to reply to anything I said and he refused to tell me goodnight, goodbye, I'll call you tomorrow... any of it.
He simply quit talking and I cried and begged til finally I just had to hang up.
So basically, he got around the hanging up thing...but still he won. He always wins.
Fuck man.
He told me he thinks I will never be sure of him loving me... ((I need constant reassurance that he does... I can't help it...)) and he said that he thinks the only thing that I'll ever be sure of is that everyone is out to get me. He also told me I'm crazy and my mind is fucked up and broken.
Yeah.
I feel real nice right now...
I mean, fuck, dude. All I want is to be sure I'm ot going to lose him... and to be sure that he loves me.
Fuck. I have turned into the most pathetic asshole in the world. Gah.