I am a pathetic hypocrite and I may possibly be single by tomorrow morning.
No, no, I didn�t cheat on Alfred... I could never do that. I love him too much.
No, I was a dumbass and got way too upset over Alfred never understanding me and I just felt terribly horribly lonely and I ended up cutting. Badly. The sad thing about it all was that I actually was thinking about doing it for real... I mean really cutting... like, badly badly. Ya know? But I�m too chicken-shit and I just wasn�t sure if that was what I really needed.
I never know.
I mean, fuck. All I want from him is for him to reassure me that he loves me. Is for me to feel like he loves me and needs me as much as I need and love him.
Meh.
Anyhow. I feel like a loser... a loser that just wants her boyfriend to understand her.
A loser that wants to not be hung up on when she feels alone and afraid.
A loser that turns to cutting to solve her problems... even though she talks shit against it.
A loser that may have lost the one guy in her life to ever matter to her... all because she is insecure.