I was writing an entry earlier, but my computer died. In the entry I was talking about how much I depend on Alfred. I cling to him like stink on shit. And I'm growing weary. I've been so afraid of losing him that I feel like I've lost myself in the process. I mean, don't get me wrong... I love him more than I can possibly comprehend. He is my enerything... but I think I am beginning to miss myself. Which sounds so odd. I know.
Then my computer died, and I was too pissed off to try to re-create my entry so I just sat around. Then Alfred called. I was in the middle of dying my hair this awesome pink-ish red so I quick hurried up and finished coating my hair with the pink sludge, and then I talked to Alfred. And he sounded so... down. He seems dreadfully upset, but he doesnt know why. He said he misses me more than ever but that he just feels like shit. And honestly it made me want to cry. I hate hearing him sound all depressed like. And I know something was wrong with him tonight because he didn't go out with the other guys.
So now that I'm off the phone with him, i sit here and i worry all about him... I dont even care that i miss me. I just miss him and want him to be my happy babe.
Bah.
I'll never know.
I want to get a better layout for my diary. I like this confucius one... but it doesnt feel like me. I was looking for images on line of pin striping. I think that shit is so fucking awesome... but i couldn;t find any good ones. If i do I plan to make my own layout using that. I wish i knew how to pinstripe. That would be awesome. Yeapper do.
I'm kinda bored now though, so i'm off to try and crack out some reviews.