Damn, don�t I come off as overly dramatic? ::sigh:: I was outside earlier and I happened to glance up at the sky. The sky was dark and heavy with clouds and the wind was playing with my hair... and all I could think was: Damn, there's a storm coming. I didn't stop and think about how beautiful it all was. I didn't stop and enjoy the breeze. I just didn't.
That is sad to me.
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I am waiting for Alfred to call. I am afraid to get online and post this because it might make me miss his call. I�m bored and antsy. I feel like it�s been weeks since I talked to him, and really it�s only been a day and half. I miss him more now than I thought could be humanly possible. I am craving his arms around me. The smell of his cologne and his body. I am craving the way he nibbles on my neck and the way he brushes my hair behind my shoulders. I miss the feel of his arms wrapped around me.
Damn I am pathetic.
But I do want him here with me. I really do.
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I, once again, fought off the urge to chop off all my hair today. I got out of the shower and was standing in front of the mirror and just wanted to grab the scissors and hack away. I�ve been growing out my hair for a little over a year, ((I think)) but I�m growing tired with it. With everything. Actually, I really have no problem with my hair. I love my hair. But I am craving change... craving something to upset the monotony that is my life right now. I am stuck. I feel like one of my sister�s CDs. She�ll find one song on a disc and play it over and over and over again till you�re just sick with it. That�s how I feel. Day in and day out... over and over and over again... and I�m just sick with the monotony of it all. I work, baby-sit, clean house, cook dinner, spend some time on line and then *try* to sleep. The next day I do it all over again. It�s getting to be a real drag. My existence has become so drab.
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Blah.
So, here I sit, listening to Incubus. Have you ever listened to the lyrics of some of incubus� songs? They really are amazing. And to top that off... the singer is hot.
I�ve been living off my music lately. I listen to older stuff, that most people probably think is shit. I love Lisa Loeb. She speaks my soul and I can not wait to get her new album. I might be picking it up tomorrow. I�m not too big on the popular shit of now... this �emo� stuff, among other things. I like some of it, don�t get me wrong... but I�m more into other things musically. I read earlier in some girl�s diary that she just loves Good Charlotte because they introduced to her punk. The first thought that entered my head when I read that was, Really? Good Charlotte is punk? I mean yeah, good charlotte isn�t half bad... but I don�t consider them punk, either. They do have that, well, �look� I guess, but really? are they punk? Bah. I dunno I haven�t really let myself get dragged into that whole scene. I usually just listen to the shit I have laying around the house. Alfred has a massively diverse CD collection. He turned me onto groups like Gov�t Mule and helped get me re-interested in Coal Chamber. He introduced me to the Buena Vista Social Club which is just the best music to kick back and get loaded to. I dunno. But I have been stuck on my music lately. I don't think there is ever any time that I don't have a CD on the computer or my head phones on.
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Hmmm- I�m bored and my cousin just called. So I think i�mma get off this blast computer and chat with her a bit on the phone. Yay.