I hope you know this will go down on your permanent record....
07.25.04 ||| 11:02 pm

I just got off the phone with Alfred. This is the first time I�ve talked with him since Wednesday night. He called about 2 hours ago. Yeah. He said he had he had gone to buy house-stuff on Thursday, we went to bed early Friday, and he went out with the guys to the races and then to a bar on Saturday. ((Which he claims he had to do because they were calling him a pussy for not going out the night before.)) I just don�t know. I miss him, but this all wearing me very thin. I dunno. I love him sooo fucking much, but I feel so forgotten and abandoned.

Anyhow. I found my Violent Femmes disc. It was in my mom�s car. So I�ve been sitting here listening. Man, this music brings so many memories back to me. It�s crazy. When I was living out in California this is one of the very few discs that Willie played in his car. He had like 3 discs he played over and over and over. He seriously played those albums out... so much so that Alfred will not let me put them on in his car. Violent Femmes is one of them... Sublime ((the self-titled album)) is another and then there was this disc that my sister made him that had songs from Candlebox and Sinead O�Connor on it that he played non-stop for a while too. It had gotten so bad for a while there that me and Danielle were making mixed discs for him and Charlie to play in his car because we were getting worn out on violent femmes and sublime.

But now... now I play these discs and I can remember back to how much fun we used to have and how it was to have real live friends. ::sigh::

I do love the violent femmes though. Every time I go into Top Gear ((the tattoo place here in Sheboygan)) they have the Violent Femmes playing. I dunno... it's just good music I guess. It makes me feel so many different things. Blah.

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Today has been an odd day... I mean what�s with today? I dunno... but anyhow I took a shower earlier and I was standing in front of the mirror in a towel and I was staring at myself and I could hardly recognize myself. It was almost scary. My eyes were darker, my face was all strange like and my body looked all elongated. I don�t know. It was a creepy feeling... looking in the mirror and not recognizing myself. I can�t even begin to imagine what it would be like to look in the mirror the first time after having plastic surgery. I dunno...it just seems so crazy to look at yourself and see a stranger.

Blah. So yeah, I watched a few movies today. Yeah... I seen Real Women Have Curves .((and the one thing I gotta say about that movie is that it is amazing... I kinda dislike the girl who played Ana, but in this movie she did an amazing job... it was superb.)) I also saw Secret Window. That movie was mamzing... especially all the little shit they tell you in the special features. Wow. That movie was just all around amazing... and to top that off... it had one of the hottest men in the world in it, Johnny Depp. He is just ginourmously sexxxy. Oh yes. And lastly I watched Fangoria�s Blood Drive. I didn�t care too much for it... but one thing I gotta say is... Rob Zombie is so freaking cool. Man o man. He just rocks my socks.

Anyhow... I�m bored, so I'm going to go and do something... I dunno what though. I was thinking of trying to find my notebook and maybe locate the more recent poems I've written... Maybe I�ll stick 'em up on here if I find any I like. ::smile:: Night all.

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