I slept away most of the day... trying not to think about where he might be. I had some strange ass dreams. I mean really crazy ones. I�ve tried to remember all that I can about them, but I�ve gotten to the point where I don�t know whether there was one dream that was all tied together or if I had a bunch of dreams.
I know one of the dreams took place in a really old house. In my dream the house was like my great grandfathers place or something... some one related to me anyway. But the house doesn�t seem familiar to me at all now. There was this pool in the backyard... or maybe it was the basement or something... I dunno... everything is getting all fuzzy about it. But the place was haunted... or set up to appear haunted. I dunno. it was crazy. When I woke up I felt all breathless and weird, like I had actually lived through it. Images from that dream keep popping out at me, but not in any particular order and they make no sense. Like I remember the ground moving in like waves.... kinda like a rolling affect. And there were like dead-zombie type people under the ground, causing this movement of the ground. Only some of them were done up in like bad-movie zombie makeup ((think original night of the living dead type shit)) and others were just normal looking people. It was weird. But I remember at the end of that dream it was all like a set-up... someone had arranged for all that stuff to happen/
My other dream was odd in a weird way. All I remember was that I was sitting at a counter, like between a kitchen and a dining room, with this older, decent looking, heavier set type guy. In the dream he was supposed to be like my sisters or mothers boyfriend or something... but we were sitting there in this house ((I lived in this house in the dream but I don't remember it and I know that it was unfamiliar to me)) Anyhow, we were sitting there talking. We were really hitting it of, getting along and things and something happened to where I fell out of my chair. I landed on the floor between the backs of the chairs and the dinning table, ya know? and he knelt down to help me up and we weren�t visible to anyone else who was in the house and he kinda like slid his hand up my skirt and started to touch me. In the dream I kinda liked what he was doing but knew that it was wrong ya know? Then the guy started whispering things to me about how he really should leave and that this was bad because he wanted to do all these things with me and he was asking me what I thought about it all and I told him to stop and he just kept talking and touching and whispering other things and I told him again to stop and he asked me if I liked what he was doing if it felt good if I liked him and I just whispered again for him to stop. I remember all the feelings in this dream especially... like I liked what he was doing and I liked him and things but I knew what we were doing felt wrong. and all I could tell him was to stop... cause I didn't want to lie to him about not liking it and things. Then he got up and just left the house and I got up and sat back down at the counter, then I woke up.
I dunno it was a weird ass dream.... I don't understand it at all.
Blah...
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I�m still sitting here waiting for the phone to ring. Alfred still hasn't called. I�m getting really pissed about it... I know earlier I said I wasn't really mad but I am. It hurts me so much that he hasn't made an effort to call me. In my mind I can not think of any one reason why he wouldn't be able to make it to a payphone. And on top of all that... today is Saturday. He has off work tomorrow. He didn't need to hurry home and go to bed or anything. He can sleep in tomorrow. He could have walked his happy ass to a payphone when he got off work tonight. He could of. I know he could of. And I know that the guys he�s hanging out with are big drinkers/partiers. I KNOW he went to the bar tonight. I know he did. The bar can�t be in the middle of no where. It has to be on some sort of street with other businesses. And if the bar didn't have a payphone then he could have walked to some other establishment nearby. He could have dammit.
And to top all that off... I know that Jason,, a guy he moved in with, has a cell phone. If he wanted to call me bad enough then he could have asked Jason for like 5 seconds on his cell phone. I don't even want a majorly long conversation. Just a quick �hey baby, how are you? I miss you, I love you. thing, ya know? This shit is maddening.