I loved the idea of having an older brother. I thought having one would help me feel safe. ((not to mention, older brothers usually have older cute friends ::smile::))
I dunno, I guess I lucked out though. I think I wished too many times for a big brother. Because now it seems like every guy I meet thinks I'm great... thinks I'm super sweet... thinks of me as a kid sister. They all act like older brothers to me. None of them want to date me... none of them find me attractive... ((cute yes, but sexxxy? no way.)) They all talk to me about their girlfriends. Ask me my advice on girls. Have me go clothes shopping with them. Are super over protective of me... It's gotten kinda old.
The only guy I have ever met that never looked at me that way was Alfred. He was attracted to me from the beginning. He tells me it's just because he knew what he was looking at. He seen the person I was underneath the facade I presented to the rest of the world.
I wonder, though... what makes guys see me as the kid sister type? Is it something I put out there? Do I want guys to see me that way? I dunno.
It's all crazy really.
((These thoughts are the outcome of my working alone in the basement at work today. I was stuck by myself, in my little office thing, labeling and jacketing about a bazillion children's books. And to top that off... I FORGOT MY CD PLAYER!!! Oh the horror... the horror.))
I was also thinking about relationships... mainly, about what happens between current significant others and their loved one's ex. Like for example: Me and Kelle. We hate each other. Kelle, by all means, has the right to hate me I guess... I stole her boyfriend. ((though i was told by numerous sources that they were in the midst of their breakup before i even entered the picture.)) But what about my feelings of dislike? I harbour a true dislike for that girl. I just can't seem to think anything good about her. What reasons do I have though? Just the fact that she new Alfred before me. And that she taled shit about me during their breakup... But I mean, what really did I expect? For her to like the fact that I was dating her very very recent ex? I just dunno.
Or another example: My sister's boyfriend Branden and her ex John. Branden completely loathes John. I mean utterly and completely HATES him. Have these two ever met? Nope. not a once. What right does Branden have to hate John without ever having even spoken to the guy?
Is it impossible for two people that love the same person to get along? Is the mutual hatred felt by the current and the ex the only possible outcome?
I have no clue. I really don't.
But, to tell the truth, I think if me and Kelle had met under different circumstances we'd probably be friends.
I just never know.