mismatched socks and holes in my head
07.19.04 ||| 12:49 am

I never wear matching socks. I own sooo many pairs of socks its not funny. None of them are white... they are all stripey or have stars on them... or kitties... or polka dots. And I never ever wear a matching pair. Why, you may ask? well, its just easier not to... i mean who wants to waste so much time pairing up socks? I sure as hell don't.

The reason I bring this up is because today my neice was calling me a clown.... all because my socks didnt match. She also told me i looked ugly with a hole in my lip. Blah.

So, now I'm an ugly clown. All because i have piercings and un-matching socks.

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Anyway. I miss Alfred somethin' awful right now. We talked earlier for a bout an hour and he brought up this memory he had of Kelle... it just depressed me to no end. I mean, well, it wasn't like he was talking about missing her or anything...but what brought her up was the fact that the guys he works with had gotten this porno mag... they were all flipping through it and making jokes and laughing and Alfred remembered this funny sex story that happened to him and Kelle. Sooo- he had to tell me about it over the phone.

I just hate hearing about Kelle. I hate it. i hate it. i hate it. I wish that the past could just be erased. I hate that he can think back and remember fucking all those other girls. I hate it.

and on top of all that... i miss him soooo bad today.

I just want to lay down in our bed, wrapped so tightly in his arms... i just want to hold him. Being wrapped up in him arms... It's the only place i feel safe.

God, I'm pathetic.

But anyhoo.

I need to go to bed...i probably have to work tomorrow.... well, i know i do...but im contemplating calling in... i dont wanna work no more.. blah. night ::sigh::

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