All I want right now is to be held.
I crave another's arms around me.
I want to push my face against the warmth of someone's neck and inhale the heady scent of patchouli or cologne or some other smell good stuff.
I had this gay friend once named Steven that smelled of vanilla... he gave me all his half empty bottles of cologne... I loved his scent. he smelled so good.
I remember us laying on my bed, listening to mix-tapes, our feet resting on the wall, our heads hanging off the edge... staring at my ceiling that was covered with magazine cutouts of sexxxy people.
The room would be hazy with pot smoke and incense and I'd feel so okay.
I know that at the time it probably wasn't as great as I remember it now... but looking back on it... it seems perfect.
I wonder what ever happened to Steven. He vanished after freshmen year... and I cant recall where he went. I remember in my junior year, sitting and talking in spanish class to this guy named Shon and I was flirting and going through his wallet and I found a picture of Steven in drag... but that was like the last time he was even remotely touched upon.
I wonder where he vanished too.
Today/tonight has been like that though... so many different people have popped into my head and I have no idea where any of them are.
where have all my friends gone?
and why won't anyone hold me?